Saturday, August 7, 2010

Came Close

I came close to starting a blog about..gasp..my opinion on more controversial topics.  I think I will stick with my usual.  Hurt no one..talk about no one..at least not in a hurtful way.  But I am itching to address "Kids Today!"  as I already broached that topic when I spoke of mom-handling that little boy at the graduation ceremony.
 
 
But.  But.  There is the matter of unmannerly children.  How do they become unmannerly?  Well, gosh, I guess no one corrects them.  Beth mentioned that if she had acted in the manner I described, she would have been punished with a swat across the hind quarters.  Me too, and I was swatted occasionally let me assure you.  All of we folks of a certain age (baby boomers) were largely reared the same.  Both by our parents and by our neighbors.  If Dad or Mom weren't home,  you "caught it" from your neighbors if you needed it and not a word was said.  Matter of fact, when the neighbor told your parents what you did and their handling of it..you got another punishment from your parents as well.  
 
But back to unmannerly.  What happened, I wonder?  These parents of the kids I spoke of are the off spring of USWe were reared with manners, the idea that we had to work for a living and that we helped one another.  Why did it become so skewed?  I didn't feel put upon as a child.   But the 60's came and worse still, the 70's and all of a sudden we were listening to pop psychology that told us we had to be our children's friend. We'd harm them somehow if we qwelled their spirit..their freedom.  Freedom "to be" I think it started out being called. Gosh, if we punished them or took away their choices in selected instances, we would warp them!!!  So the kids were allowed "to be" and educational systems were changed to accomodate this freedom to be OK since I'm OK.  ("I'm OK, You're OK" by whomever").  I have seen kids strike their parents!  Bite them.  Curse at them.  I have watched those parents choose not to correct that barbarous behavior.  I've seen parents (and I was NOT one of them) who paid the child's insurance on their car and bought the car to boot. I know..stepping on toes here.  I didn't because I wanted them to learn that it took money earned to buy all of that.  So, get an after school job, save your money and do it yourself. I figured they'd have a little respect for the car if they had to earn it and keeping great grades kept their insurance fees lower along with driver's ed.  They took care of THEIR property.  They also knew I was  trying to support us all and save for their after HS educations.
 
Rather than go on and on and on...and sorry if I am offending those of you who feel this is the way to go in life and in school, I will simply say we have a Nation in which many of our  children  can't read, can't do math and are pushed through the grades because it would traumatize them if they were failed.  Then they arrive at a University door and can't do the simplest things. 
 
Yes, I know I am over simplifying.  I also know I am leaving out a lot.  But I will tell you this:  I have graded my teacher son's student papers and it is shocking to see the level of non -learning that has taken place through the years. 
 
One can blame the teacher I suppose.  Beats blaming the school system that was built around certain changed community standards!  Remember too that teachers are forced to teach according to the school's hard and fast Plans.  There is no deviation.  And if the teachers hands are tied by and large..and if the teacher nor any school personnel are allowed to make a remedy to enable learning then there isn't a lot to be done unless the parents realize this and take a hand in changing the environment.  But first we need parents who WANT to be involved with their children and spend time on them.
 
Again, I am over simplyfying.  I have left out lots.  I know that.  Manners...the point..manners!  Sheesh.  I got lost in my own river of words. 
 
I believe the unpleasant thing I was trying to get across is our kids, reared by us who fondly (generally) remember a more structured with rules upbringing, have reared  the children who have reared the grandkids..kids of today who feel entitlement to whatever they wish.  If affordable, new cars, the gas to put in them, insurance paid for by the parents..the best of clothes and shoes.  Electronic gadgetry. Just whatever they want.  After all.  If we say "NO"..they'd not be our friends, now would they? 
 
I do not believe in being your child's friend.  I believe in being the parent.  A parent has an obligation to teach right from wrong.  How to be responsible and how to have manners. 
 
OK.  Guess I have offended enough people.  And again, be aware I know I left out a lot.  I was just trying to capture one thing...manners in the morass we have today.
 
Whew.  I need to go get on the treadmill again I think. 
 

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