Sunday, August 25, 2013

So...As I Was Sayin'


Now, I had several ladies take me to task when I made this statement in my old blog of MSN Live Spaces.  Before I wade into the topic again, I will clarify that which I did not do the first time I brought it up.

I had said that parents are not meant to be their children's friends.  I was roundly chastised and told by the respondents that they certainly did see their children as friends.  And so THERE, Carole!!!

Now, what I MEANT and failed to explain then was:  Parents are not supposed to be their children's friend instead of their caretaker and teacher as they grow from infancy toward adulthood.  After they reach late teens etc. THEN you can become friends as it were.  A parent (s) are supposed to be a guide, a leader, a teacher, an instiller (is there such a word?) of morals, discipline and what's the right thing to do.  Not to mention teaching them kindness, friendship toward others, developing the ability to wait, learning how to cope with and appreciate ultimately  delayed gratification. They should be taught how to anticipate.

 You are supposed to give your children a feeling of caring about their fellows by your own example.   Children in my opinion should NOT be reared from the beginning of their 2's and 3's and then onward with equal say in the household finances, decisions, and consulted as to what will be bought, and how money is spent.

Nor should they be given everything simply because someone else has it.  Learn the value of work, saving, anticipating, caring for your possessions.  Learn that the sense of entitlement that your parents bestow on you won't work in every situation.  Someone somewhere MAY clean your clock for you.  It's not all about you.

Whining screaming and kicking and cursing by toddlers.  Slapping their parents.  These are things I see almost every day.  It's appalling.

Expecting the schools to rear your child is horrible.  You will never see what should be your family values taught.  Just the poor demonized beleaguered teachers getting it all forced on them to do.  Disrespect and spitting, kicking, cursing and hitting teachers seem to be allowed in public schools.  Just sayin'.

NOW I'm done.  Sorry and just ignore if it's offensive.



17 comments:

  1. I agree with you. It begins at home, but it affects all of us.

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  2. I don't find your post offensive at all. In fact, I agree with it completely!

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  3. Absolutely, Carole. Establish a good rapport with your kids...but leave the "friendship" until they're old enough to be independent, IMO. It's not the role of the parent to be the child's friend. To love, nurture, guide and discipline the child, yes. Be a young child's friend? Nope. Period.

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  4. BTW, this?

    "Whining screaming and kicking and cursing by toddlers. Slapping their parents. These are things I see almost every day. It's appalling."

    Yeah, I have that with the adjoining neighbours, the kids being 7 and 9. And they've just returned (yesterday evening) after the summer with grandma.

    They--and their parents--are living examples of good reasons to spay and neuter humans. LOL!

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  5. Or at least good examples of why people need birth control!

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  6. Ah, Carole! There are always those who have opinions.:-) We always thought it was our responsibility to rear our daughters to show respect for others - as well as themselves and the world around them.

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  7. It certainly isn't offensive to me as I agree with you 100%. Parents are just that - parents. As you said, we lead by example, correct them when they are misbehaving, set limits, give them guidelines, etc . I was once told by someone considered a "child specialist" that children expect their parents to set limits and provide guidelines. I think he was absolutely right in that statement.

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  8. Carole sadly there is no road map for guidance on parenting especially for those young people who have children when they themselves are still "children" nearly. My Mom was only a few months past 18 when she gave birth to my brother, and she said when the nurse put him in her arms the first time she thought what am I suppose to do with you? She was basically a child herself. Just having celebrated their first year of marriage and then a baby! But those days were different and there was respect taught to children. Sadly, I believe too much information is available to kids these days, they proverbially grow up too fast but not fast enough where their little brains understand. When I was a child, there was no cell phones, no internet, no cable tv. Goodness we had three channels on TV and we really didn't watch all that much. When kids are so plugged into social media now and not plugged into socializing with people we have a problem. Plus with parents working 40+ hours a week they are exhausted and oh my such problems all of this creates. It is better for Mom's to stay at home and raise the kids while Dad works, it just works so much better for the kids.

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  9. Well these are the results of the "touchy/feely" crowd, mixed in with the self absorbed parent who really can't be bothered trying to "teach your children well" as the old Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song goes.

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  10. Quite a subject to breech. I can speak from my own experiences but I don't suppose it's much different than politics...it's a sensitive thing to address and mostly it's either preaching to the choir or to those that will never agree. I figure it shouldn't be particularly offensive to bring it up though and it's certainly your right to do so.

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  11. I say, to stocks for the parents. 100 lashes with the willow, rap the knuckles with the ruler, string them up in the coat rack. Saw a teacher do that once to an obnoxious boy. Hung him from the coat hook in his coat and let him hang there till he shut up. Boy was pretty decent after that, no longer disruptive, sitting here chuckling.

    The biggest problem for me is how undisciplined children infringe on others.

    This is also what freedom of speech is all about.

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  12. I don't know how children do it these days. They get dumped at preschool early in the morning and get picked up early evening and when they get home nobody has any time to spend with them because of all the chores that have to be done like cooking, laundry, bill paying, etc. They don't learn from their parents anymore. They get data and develop skills but mostly they learn from their friends. People keep having children without any regard for their needs and that seems wrong.

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