I remember a flurry of activity by me earlier in my life; cleaning the house including taking glass light shades down from all the fixtures and washing them and remounting them. Mopping, sweeping, windows washed, waxing, dusting, rearranging things and all just a few days before I had another child. I think they call it the nesting syndrome.
Well, today I got up and readied myself for the day..and of course I am neither married now nor pregnant, and went to work out. After that I had brunch with a friend, came home and washed the car. Then, I came in the house and washed the windows! Then, I cleaned and polished all of the wooden cabinets in the kitchen..the upper ones on both sides of the room and the lower ones all the way around. Then, I cleaned the stove and hopped up and did the microwave too. If I had not answered a phone call I would have emptied the fridge and cleaned it inside and out as well as the linen closet. But I did wash down the washing machine and the dryer.
I am telling you this because I feel 20 years younger today. I feel free and I have no concerns. Not for me nor anyone else. It's the most free I have felt in a year. The day is beautiful and so am I, inside.
I have enjoyed every minute of every hour in this day since daybreak. I will take this sparkling effervescent and finest of gifts any woman could wish for, happiness, and be deeply grateful through and through.
I refuse to worry for tomorrow, to be concerned, to anticipate or decide what will happen. I think I will just wait and see. It's good to let go of the control you never had in the first place.
Whatever the new day brings, it will happen without my concern, worry, anticipation or machination. Without a river of words to those who don't want to hear them. I think I will keep relinquishing that pretense of control that I have realized I never had..and keep doing that if I am able.