Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sociopaths July 2007

A good friend of mine called last evening and mentioned that someone who was volunteering was being mistreated by a supervisor in the area where the volunteers go to get their floor assignment.  He is only fourteen years old and was visibly hurt by the remarks.  The issue seemed to have been that he tends to  wait (of course!) to be told which floor to go to and what is expected rather than barge ahead and "just do it"!  He was accused of being lazy and shiftless!  I know my friend was telling it accurately.
You may wonder what on earth a 14 year old would be doing there to begin with.  School is out and he is wanting to volunteer for the good of it yes, but also toward his college applications.  But he is being educated now into the cruelty and the unthinking rudeness of many people right now! 
My friend took him under her wing and counseled him.  And she told him the same thing that I told my sons...that everyone is not going to like you.  That is something you have to deal with every day in the work world.  That's for normal people however. 
Unfortunately, you have the abnormal folks out there who delight in hurting others.  The woman who made  rude comments to that boy is likely not like the people I have written about  several times in the past year when I  recommended a book for all to read.  Several of you have.
 The book "The Sociopath Next Door" opened my eyes all the way to several of my co-workers.  We none of us in my group could understand those two females and how they could be so consistently cruel.  The first sentence in the book I just gave you the title of told the story.  I will re-phrase it so as not to violate any copywrites, but it went something like this:  imagine not having a conscience.  Think about it..try to imagine such a thing.  You can't.  It's impossible (for normal people) to imagine such a thing..not having a conscience.  About anything.  Ever. 
But sociopaths don't have a conscience.  They go unblinkingly from one to another apalling act.  They are the ones who make your life a misery either as a co-worker, a doctor, an employer, or a neighbor.  Sometimes even as a friend until you can't stand it any longer. 
Once you understand what you are dealing with and accept that these people are without a conscience, you move away from them at light speed and cease providing them with the only thing they have...entertainment at your total misery.
I highly recommend everyone read that book.  Even if a sociopath is reading this right will recognise yourself, if nothing else and those of we others can see who you are and stay clear as much as possible.
The book is authored by Dr. Martha Stout.

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