Saturday, July 24, 2010

If You Can't Laugh at Yourself 8-06

I always say, if you can't laugh at yourself, then you'd better keep a straight face when others fumble or flop.
I was making sure my front screen door was unlocked before I left the house yesterday.  I always do nowadays as I never know when I may need in via the front door instead of the side kitchen door I usually come in through.
I learned THAT lesson the hard way.
I guess about four years ago, I had gotten up at 1500 ( I was on midnights and was up for the night after having slept thru the day) and as I shuffled through the kitchen I saw I had forgotten to take out the trash the previous day.  So, after pouring my coffee that had made itself via the timer...I gathered up the trash and after carefully looking up and down the street for cars, i.e. people who might see me in my little pink gauze shortie nighty as I stepped out on the kitchen porch ( which faces the street, by the way) I did indeed step out.  I hefted the trash container lid and put the kitchen trash bag in.  I wheeled about to re-enter.  Guess what?  The screen door locked behind me!  Hey..that was a jolt!  I tried and tried but it would not open.  I kicked it, I pounded on it..nothing.  Meanwhile, did I say it was a windy day and my shortie nightie was billowing out in disgraceful abandon with each puff of wind.
What to do?  What to do??  I certainly couldn't stay out there.  No keys in my hand of course as all I had done was go from the bed to the kitchen in my nightie and took out the trash as the first order of my day. 
Meanwhile cars ARE going by and there I am, looking like a nut on the porch with my nightie on.
OK.  Nothing to do but pad barefooted, billowingly, to the back yard and wrestle out the thankfully long ladder that was stored under the deck.  I needed that ladder as it was going to be the ONLY way or chance I had to get back into the house. 
Why the ladder?  The deck is way up off the ground and I am 5'2" tall.
I dragged it around to the side of the deck and positioned it against the railing and decking.  I started up.  Nightie flowing with the breeze..folks going by slowly.  At that point, I thought " who CARES!!!" and I made my way up the old rickety ladder steps.  Got to where my feet were fairly level with the decking floor and stopped..still presenting my best side to the Public flowing by in their vehicles.
I stopped because there was the railing to contend with!  Much taller than my little short legs.  Well, nothing to do but the ballerina move so to speak. 
I hefted my right hind leg up to the flooring and rared it over the rail and sat straddling the rail looking as much like the doofus that I was for getting myself into this predicament. 
Not looking down or at my disbelieving public, I lowered the other hind leg, took mental aim and dropped to the deck floor on the INside of the railing, thank goodness.  I thought " I sure hope this deck door ( solid wood) is unlocked.  It I was able to get back into the house.
What a way to start your day. I pitched that nightie into the trash as it would always remind me of that incident.  Turns out I remember vividly anyway.  I couldn't wait to get to work that evening and tell on myself.  Oh, they loved it.
What happened was, grasping the handle of the screen door to take the trash out, I had inadvertantly hit the locking mechanism of the screen door.  Thereby doing a great job of locking myself adamantly OUT.
SO..I make sure the screen door in the front of the house is always unlocked when I leave.  That won't help me in the above situation, no.  BUT I may be unable to negotiate the side door for whatever reason one day and need to use the front door. If the screen door was's all over but the shouting. 
Just thought I'd share a laugh on myself.

1 comment:

  1. ROTF laughing by BUTT off! Wow, that was aprapos. I could picture every step. Omg, that was toooooo funny. I'll be laughing into tomorrow because of this :D